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Nobody wants to be a loser. With this revolutionary new handbook, readers will learn how to win at literally** everything - even things that aren't contests and that you can't or shouldn't try to win at, such as dreaming, apologising and talking on the phone with your mum. Crucial illustrated advice and instruction guides winners through activities including Archery (remember the three P's: Poise, Precision and Phobia of losing), Birdwatching (Start by spotting common species like pigeons, or dogs), Job Interviews (Maintain eye contact: very smart people do not need to blink), Faking Your Own Death (Write DEAD on your library card red block letters) and many more scenarios for success.**actually, more like dozens of things!