n his bestselling book Raising Competent Children Juul talks about embracing a new set of values, based on the assumption that families must be built not on authoritarian force or democratic tyranny, but on dignity and reciprocity between parent and child. Children are competent to express their feelings from birth, and they are eager to cooperate. Parents must work to listen to and learn from their children. Jesper Juul argues that today's families are at an exciting crossroad. The destructive values - obedience, physical and emotional violence, and conformity - that governed traditional hierarchical families are being transformed.